I stood in the doorway with my bag and tried not to cry.
THE MOTEL SAT JUST OFF THE HIGHWAY.
That first night, I lay awake listening to traffic rumble past on the highway and wondered when, exactly, my marriage had turned into this.
When had I become someone who could be shipped off to a dump like this to make room for someone else? When had I stopped mattering?
“Maybe I should’ve stayed in the garage.”
By morning, I stopped feeling sorry for myself and started planning my next move.
I LAY AWAKE LISTENING TO TRAFFIC RUMBLE PAST ON THE HIGHWAY.
Stage one started with my morning coffee.
I balanced the paper cup of vending-machine coffee on the windowsill and took a photo.
Behind it, the parking lot overflowed with trash — crushed soda cans, a broken chair, something dark and unidentifiable near the dumpster.
A little noisier than I’m used to, but I’m making it work, I captioned it.
I tagged him and Lorraine.
IT STARTED WITH MY MORNING COFFEE.
An hour later, I noticed a roach skitter across the bathroom floor while I was getting ready for work. It moved fast, confident in its territory.
I didn’t scream or try to swat it.
I took a picture.
Trying to be respectful of my roommates, I wrote. They were here first.
I posted that too.
I NOTICED A ROACH SKITTER ACROSS THE BATHROOM FLOOR.
My posts continued on the second day — still calm, still relentlessly honest.
See, I’d decided to push back against Jake and Lorraine’s attempts to hide me away by refusing to be hidden.
I had other plans in motion too, but this was the most crucial part.
I posted a photo of a thin sleeping bag I’d laid carefully on top of the bed, because I couldn’t bring myself to touch the comforter.
I think I’ll sleep better this way, I captioned it.
I COULDN’T BRING MYSELF TO TOUCH THE COMFORTER.
I posted a picture I’d taken the previous day of the window at dusk, neon lights flickering outside, casting strange shadows across the water-stained ceiling.
Free entertainment.🕺
I then shared a shot of a small patch of green pushing through a crack beneath the sink, stubborn and alive despite everything.
I have an indoor plant! 🥹
My phone lit up constantly after that.
I SHARED A SHOT OF A SMALL PATCH OF GREEN PUSHING THROUGH A CRACK BENEATH THE SINK.
